my thoughts on motherhood, kids, books and stuff

How Long Have I Been Married? Well, Let’s See…I Got My Shoes In 1997…

A lot of things changed in my life when I got married, but the biggest thing was my taste in shoes.

I brought a very large black garbage bag full of shoes into this marriage.  It was not welcome.  It might as well have been a large garbage bag full of manure by the way my husband reacted.

doc marten He liked the shoes I was wearing when we entered our apartment for the first time as a married couple.  They were the only shoes I owned that were really comfortable so I wore them ALL the time.  They were Doc Marten sandals and I had spent more on them than any other pair of shoes I had owned. 

So the other fifteen or so pair of shoes that I dumped onto the closet floor were met with a look of disbelief from Brett.

"Do you like those Nine West sandals?" he asked me as he pointed out a pair of tan ankle high sandals that were given to me for helping do inventory at the outlet store that my friend managed.

"Uh….yes!  That is why I brought them 1300 miles, along with all those other shoes on the floor, in that garbage bag, and dumped them on the floor of ‘our’ closet."

"Do you wear them?"

"Well, my feet get really sweaty and stinky in them so I only wear them if I am going somewhere for under twenty minutes.  So, no."


"How about these Bass hiking boots?  Do you wear them?"

"Well, the shoelace broke off the last time I tried to put them on.  That was eight months ago.  Aren’t they cute though!  Oh, but they rub my ankle wrong and give me a blister, so I can’t wear them hiking."


"What about these Payless high heeled black pumps?"

"Ya, those.  I don’t really like high heeled pumps.  Or Payless.  I just thought I better hang onto them in case I ever wear that burgundy dress, that I don’t really like, that is hanging in the closet."

Gone.  And gone.

I could go on, but you get the idea.

So one of the first shopping trips we took was to Nordstrom to get me some new shoes.  I had thrown out fifteen pairs after all!

Brett led me right to a shoe that he loved.  I saw the price tag and turned to walk to the sales racks at the other end of the shoe department.  He led me back.  At the time, $140(ish…I don’t remember exactly) was a ridiculous price to pay for a pair of shoes. 

I did like them though.  And they were comfortable.  And he was offering to buy them for me.


Eleven and a half years later my Cole Haan loafers are still one of my favorite pairs of shoes. They are the only surviving pair of shoes I own that I had during my first month of marriage.  I guess Brett knew what he was talking about when he told me that I will spend far less on shoes if I spend more and get better quality.

  • Maryanne

    You are scaring me Kim! Do I REALLY need to get rid of my 8 pairs of Doc Martens?! I can’t do it!! I know……I never, EVER wear them, but they are such great shoes (well, not very comfortable but they LOOK great!), and I paid A LOT of $$ for them, and I’m sure that some day they’ll be hip again. And when they do make a come-back and everyone else is scrambling to Nordstroms to get their Docs, I’ll be so proud of myself that I SAVED mine all those years. 😉 Yip, I’ll be telling my husband, “See honey, I told you so!”

  • whim

    I love Doc Martens! I only had to get rid of my sandals about six years ago because I had worn them so much (hiking, to the beach, to church…you name it!) and they were in pieces. I have one other pair that are just regular black shoes that I have kept for many years because I love them. I don’t wear them often, but they are so comfortable when I do.

    I don’t think I have thrown away any shoes that Brett has helped me pick out, but somehow the ones I get on my own end up in the DI box after a year or two.

    It hard to admit that my husband has better shoe taste and is a better shopper than me!

    Just don’t have Brett help you go through your closet. He throws out so much! He will be all, “I am throwing this out. I haven’t worn it in six months.” And I say, “because it is WINTER! That is a summer shirt!”

  • Meagan

    I noticed you wearing those shoes when you were at our house the other day and I thought they were so cute! I would have never guessed that Brett picked them out. He does have good taste.
    That is too funny about him cleaning out the closet. I am the one like that in our family! Matt is always asking why I am throwing out perfectly good stuff all the time, but I just hate to have stuff around that I never use.

  • Shoes are the one thing we usually don’t grow out of … I wish I could say the same for the other clothes I had when I was first married. Brett is a good shoe picker outer.

  • Hey I have Doc Martens too! I still wear them every day (well almost)! I did take a good look at my shoes and I am pleased to say that while I do have a lot of shoes I wear them all, not at the same time of course, but though out the month so I guess I can keep them.

  • I have those exact same docs.
    Love the cute shoes. Does Brett offer his shoe buying services up in Canada? I need help. It’s so hard to spend so much on shoes, but so true that they last longer and are just better.

  • That is funny. When Aaron and I got married I had a box of shoes that hardly ever got worn. I was so embarresed by the thought of him seeing that box that I got rid of it before he could.
    I had this thing for cute shoes in high school but what I wore the most were a pair of Army Jump Boots I managed to finagle from my then sister-in-law. All the rest matched like one outfit or something like that. It was ridiculous.
    I’m so glad I had that one moment of clarity to rid me of that silly fetish. I still want to get a hold of another pair of Jump Boots though, I loved them!!! My sil made me give them back when they got divorced. 🙁

  • I completely forgot about Doc Marten sandals! I used to have a pair, too!

    And, I totally agree about paying more and getting better quality! I have a pair of Prada boots I got when I graduated high school and, though I won’t say how long ago that was, they are still amazing boots that get compliments on them every time I wear them…

  • Ann

    I had a closet full of shoes too – until I got a note on my door asking for donations for the needing folks in Africa. So I began gathering them all up for that cause ….and now I can go stocking footed all I want. I did save a couple pairs for when I have to leave the house. It was nice to have a good reason to go stocking footed – I always liked that anyway.

  • I am a flip-flop kind of gal (4 pairs), and then I end up buying odd shoes that I only wear once or twice.