my thoughts on motherhood, kids, books and stuff

Reaching Out

When I was eight years old I had my tonsils out. I remember not feeling very bad the first day I got home, but by day two I was miserable.

My parents had pulled out the hide-a-bed in the t.v. room so I could watch movies and so they would be closer to me while I recuperated. My mom spent the first two or three nights sleeping on the pull out bed with me so she would be close if I woke up and needed her.

The second night I did wake up in the middle of the night in a lot of pain. I still remember lying silently in the dark as tears streamed down my face and into my ears and I felt like I had a pile of broken glass in my throat. It was more pain than I had ever been in up until that point and I felt helpless.

I could feel the warmth coming from my mom who was asleep right next to me. I knew I could just reach out and tap her on the shoulder and she would happily get up to get me medicine, a popsicle, or just hold me as I cried, but for some reason I didn’t. I didn’t want to wake her. I felt like I had to endure the pain on my own. I laid there crying for what seemed like hours until I finally drifted back to sleep.

I thought about that time yesterday as I sat in a Women’s Conference yesterday and the speaker talked about his mother being there for him during a time he most needed it. My mother had also done all she could to be available to me when I needed her, but I had not done my part to let her know when that time had come and we both missed out.

It made me think about how many times in my life I had missed out on other’s willingness to help when I needed it. I could certainly think of times when I had made offers of help to friends, but because I didn’t know exactly how to help and they didn’t tell me, nothing came of it.

I am sure I will still be on both sides of this scenario many times in my life, but I am hoping that by being aware of it my heart will soften and I will humble myself and ask for help when it is offered and that I will be more in tune to the needs of those around me.

  • Grandmahenke

    Very good analogy, Kim, but I wish I would have been awake to get you the medicine.   You are right about reaching out, or opening the door, or somehow making communication.   It reminds me about the picture of Christ standing at the door knocking so he could be invited in, and the visual I had once of someone I loved standing on the other side with their shoulder and foot up against the door from the inside.   It takes a lot of faith to open that door sometimes.   Sometimes we are too proud to ask for help.   Sometimes we fool ourselves into thinking we don’t need it as bad as others do.   But, really, if it is only a little help needed then we should allow someone to offer that service.   It benefits both sides.

  • http://profiles.google.com/necallen Nancy Allen

    What a beautiful post, Kim. Thanks for sharing it, and I wish I’d have seen it back in May when you posted it originally! :-)

  • Mary Fox

    Beautiful lesson. Thanks for sharing!