My next “mom moment” is about my mom. It is a something that I can relate to now that I am a mom.
After I met Brett we fell in love very quickly and because of the distance my parents had only spent a few hours with him before we announced we were going to get married. My parents and I lived in Southern Utah and Brett lived in Seattle so they hadn’t had the chance to spend a lot of time together. It must have come as somewhat of a shock to my parents, although they really liked him. Their baby girl went from being single and dating for fun to , “mom, dad…I am getting married and moving to Seattle.”
We set the wedding date for five months away. And the moved it up to four months….and then three. We couldn’t stand the long distance for that long.
I remember the day after we got married we went to my parents house so I could gather up the last bit of my stuff before we started our drive to Seattle. I went into the bathroom with a box and started throwing shampoo and conditioner and various bottles into the box and I heard the door open and my mom slipped in and locked the door and and sat on the toilet seat.
“I just want you all to myself one last time before you go”, she said as she tried not to cry.
I have to admit at the time I was trying to be all tough and independent and I really pushed away my emotions about home. This day in particular I really kept it out of my mind, probably because I knew if I let the dam break there would be no stopping the flood waters.
She watched me as I finished packing up and we chit chatted as my mom wrung her hands together and I could see the pinched and pained look on her face. I tried not to notice too much though because I did not want to make my new husband feel bad for whisking me away from home if I started bawling.
As I look back I realize what an emotional time that must have been for my mom. Watching your baby pack up her belongings and put them in the car of a man that you really liked (and eventually would really love), but that you really didn’t know all that much about. It shows me the immense amount of trust she had in me. She never tried to talk me out of it. She never questioned me as if I didn’t know what I was doing. She knows how indecisive I am so she had to have known how much thought and prayer I had put into it.
As my kids are growing up and I have to allow myself to give them more independence and let them grow I can understand on a smaller scale how it must have felt.
Sending a child to preschool for the first time…then kindergarten…then first grade for the whole day is not an easy thing to do!
Letting a child have their first sleep over makes for a long sleepless night of wondering if they are cold, if they remembered to brush their teeth, or wondering if they are laying in their sleeping bag in the dark missing you.
Moving a baby out of the bassinet and into their own room for the first time has always been hard for me.
I know I have many more of these moments ahead of me and I hope I can face them with the bravery and trust that my mom showed me when I got married and moved away.
That is one of the best gifts you can give your children.
Me, Luca, and Mom in 2001